New goat technology befuddles older generation

My boys are sharing a goat.

Let me explain.

The goat is virtual. It is a game app that allows the player to manipulate the activities of a standard goat.

It is really only Big Brother and Buster who are sharing this goat. I’m sure Big Man would be interested if it were a real goat – somebody he could pet or chase as the mood struck him. But he’s not really interested in screen goats, yet.

These flesh goats are so 2013.

These flesh goats are so 2013.

By sharing I mean they are constantly fighting over who gets to play the goat game. Big Brother is searching for some legal loophole or parents’ edict that will cause Buster to cease playing the game altogether. It’s not that he doesn’t want his little brother to have a happy childhood, but it seems as though you, or your goat, can build things in this game, and he lives in terror that the poorly trained, younger goatherd will somehow destroy all he, and his goat, have created.

This only makes Buster’s fire to play the game burn more brightly. I’m sure he understands as little as I do about how virtual goats build apartment complexes, but if Big Brother doesn’t want him playing, it must be an awesome game.

I don’t understand this fascination with the pixel goat. Sure, you can make him swim across a river and break things with his hooves, (Goats have hooves, right? I grew up with cows.) but I can’t figure out how that translates into an addicting game.

It’s not that I don’t like computer games. There are a handful of games I play. I even kind of get the appeal of Minecraft. In that game, you build up some kind of civilization (I think) while working toward some sort of goals (I think). And the best part is, you can create cats and dogs and then leave your tablet in the kitchen so your dad goes crazy trying to figure out where all the meowing and barking is coming from as he makes dinner. Who wouldn’t get a kick out of that?

But this goat I don’t understand. Every time I look at the game, the goat is just swimming or walking, or in the really exciting moments, sleeping. Who spends their time making a fake goat sleep? Okay, don’t answer that. The goat did build a house of some sort, so I guess there’s more to it than that.

How do you put a goat to sleep? Tap the sleep icon, of course.

How do you put a goat to sleep? Tap the sleep icon, of course.

I just can’t imagine my childhood revolving around virtual goats. I used to read, and play ball, and go swimming. My kids do that stuff too, and yet still find time for the goat. Maybe that’s the time I spent milking cows. Or maybe we had more innings in our ball games.

I’m trying to get Big Brother to read more and play games less. I wish I could get him to do so more willingly. Maybe he needs more interesting stories. Anybody know where I can find books about sleeping virtual goats?

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32 comments on “New goat technology befuddles older generation

  1. julianboffin says:

    I grew up with budgies. Real, not virtual

  2. Margie says:

    I have adult friends who play FarmVille by the hour. They plant crops, they harvest crops, they tend animals, including goats. I think I would have liked FarmVille when I was a kid. I had a wooden barn and plastic animals, and used to play farm for hours!

  3. Ahdad says:

    So the old goat has trouble understanding a younger goat. Seems pretty logical to me…

  4. My friends just bought three pygmy goats…I watched them for five minutes before I got bored. If I wasn’t drinking beer at the time, I might have lasted two minutes. I guess I don’t understand any form of goat entertainment.

  5. Gibber says:

    Did someone say beer?

  6. AmyRose🌹 says:

    I know natta about games, Scott, and I am glad I don’t because from what I have heard they are addicting. I’d rather see the real deal in life. I don’t know how to advise you on breaking the addiction seen in your boys. These computers have such a strong pull and it takes a lot of willpower not to run to them. Books? I grew up with Dr. Seuss. I’m not sure if your boys are in to that sort of thing or if your oldest is too old for them, but it is a suggestion. Good luck! That is all I can say! >3

  7. Happy Fourth of July, Scott. You guys stay safe! :O)

  8. amommasview says:

    When I was younger there was this trend of some sort of virtual pet and you had to look after it or it passed away… Everyone was addicted to it. Young, old… I never understood why… my kids play Minecraft (too much of it). I have my issues with them playing it so often but on the other side it’s a creative kind of game. Almost like Lego on a screen… The goat… I have never seen the goat but I promise if they start playing that goat thing then I will most probably take their devices and lock them up (the devices, not the kids…) 😉

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