We just won a moral victory of sorts. It took two months, and there were times I doubted the Fates would allow it, but now that it’s done, I feel free to speak of it.
I mentioned that our seven-year-old son was on a basketball team. If you saw that post, you may think our victory is a decision to keep score at the games, but it’s not. It may be even more valuable than that.
Over our three years in sports, there has not been a team that didn’t require a rotating list of hapless parents to bring healthy snacks for the kids to eat at the end of every game. The Team Snack was the Sacred Cow of youth athletics. God knows, kids playing ball for an hour would wither to dust if not fortified with granola and sugar-free fluids within seconds of the final whistle.
When I was a boy, we played all afternoon without a thought to our bellies, but then we were not enlightened enough to know we were doomed to die young for our bad habits. We drank whole milk too, to give you an idea of how recklessly ignorant we were. Our parents were the worst, making us have fun all the way until dinner time. For shame.
My wife and I dislike game-day snacks because we struggle to get to the games on time without having to remember the groceries, and it’s not like we can just grab a bag of Doritos or Oreos on the way out the door. These evil snacks we have, but only because our tragic upbringings neglected to teach us any better. Blame the 1970s.
After the game, we had to take up the planking from the pasture and milk the cows before we could even think about eating. (Image: Russell Lee/US Farm Security Administration)
They told us it couldn’t be done. They said the kids on a snackless team would grow envious of the other team’s snacks, though I don’t know a single kid who covets a V8 juice box and a bar of pine needles. Still, no one would want to be on the team whose bad parents didn’t do exactly what the good parents do.
So after the first practice, we waited for that email – the one organizing the snack rotation. We’d highlight a game on the schedule, dread it’s coming, and hope we were both available to attend, so all our children and all our snacks could be at the same place at the same time.
The email never came. The coach was new, and I don’t think she even thought about snacks, which makes me love her a little bit. For the entire season, we went to games where other teams had snacks. Our team never bemoaned our lack of snacks. I saw no indication they even noticed. From our team’s other parents, I never heard a peep about snacks. Our snackless rebellion was our little secret.
I now suspect that many parents dislike the post-game snack, but no one publicly decries it, because that might make them the worst parent ever, and who would ever dare flirt with that consequence?
Snoozing on the Sofa 
Funny! Last soccer season I was grateful we had no “Team Mom” for the same reasons as you. Let the snack rebellion begin! Soccer starts in a few weeks.
Ah yes, soccer, and baseball shortly after. The pressure for snacks will be intense.
Man, parenting is just to complicated these days! I was watching Steve Harvey last night on Ellen & he delivered a classic line. He was talking about his new show called, Little Big Shots. The premise is showcasing young people who possess incredible talent. When Ellen asked him if he possessed a special talent when he was kid, he paused for a moment & replied, “I liked dirt” I love to play in the dirt, I love to make things out of dirt. I didn’t have no iphone, no ipad, no video games, I just had dirt! Brilliant I say!
Mud was the best. Who knew dirt and water could make such magic together.
Dare to be different! This is awesome – I hope ditching the snack rotation becomes a popular trend. Can’t everybody just bring their own water bottle and call it good?
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a bad parent, it’s that you’ve got to be patient and take it one little victory at a time.
Ah, the post game snack. I feel your pain. We aren’t as picky around here, though. We’re good on kool aid and little chocolate donuts.
How can I find my way back in time to where you live?
I know exactly what you mean. I felt the same way about ‘lunch’ at our ladies mahjong games once a week. The lunch became a one-upmanship thing that could have been avoided if we just got together for a few hours in mid-afternoon.
Exactly. It’s sad when it’s not about the mahjong anymore.
Snacks? Are you serious? Man have things changed, Scott. I remember days being forced in to eat. And no we had zip for snacks. Now does this come as a shock to some? I hope not because we best start looking really good because so many of our kids our overweight. No snacks is a good thing, and I applaud you!
If you fill up on snacks when you’re outside playing, what do you do when your sitting in front of the TV?
Exactly. TV. Not allowed to watch that either as a kid, just Walt Disney on Sunday evenings. It was an oddity that children were overweight back “when”. Totally different story today. Unfortunately.
Well, I was allowed to watch TV, but that was because we only got two channels and there probably wasn’t anything I wanted to watch on either of them.
Imagine children today not watching TV or playing video games. *horror*
I can’t blame em. I kinda like some of the games myself.
My lad plays rugby at a local club that is VERY good at the higher leveks. His team has been beaten once this season. If it’s a home game, they get a hot dog from the club house afterwards. During the game? Water bottles. Identical water bottles in a crate – just grab one, boys, any one. So, not only do they get non nutritious snacks, they also get to share germs. I love it!
You have a clubhouse? Damn. Our parents have to stand out in the cold. I don’t envy you the hot dogs though.
Oh we stand out in the cold to watch, we assured of that! The clubhouse is for after. Or events. As is the bar 😉
A bar. Now that’s what every youth sporting event needs!
Definitely 🙂 Subsidised, too! Just want to add that it isn’t just a YOUTH team there…
I don’t remember having any post-game snacks when I was a kid. Not that I played any competitive sports but I had to sit through more than a few of my brother’s soccer games. It seems to me like each parent should just bring a small snack for their own child if they want to have a post-game snack.
Apparently, it takes a village to feed a kid nowadays.
But a parent to sneak them the good stuff like oreos.
You did and even lived to tell about it! lol
More sports coming up. Wouldn’t it be great if we could keep it going?
It totally would! If you’re expected to bring the snack again. Just bring something horrible that kids will hate and call it healthy. Then you won’t be asked again..
It’s not the kids whose opinion counts.
Exactly
We finally came out of the dark-ages with the advent of team snacks. I just don’t know how the human race survived up to that point. Some things just have to be chalked up to luck, Scott.
I’ve still got one foot planted firmly in the dark ages.
I suppose there are worse things. 😀
Back in the day (which is after the period you grew up in, as I never had to milk cows for milk, we got it in cartons) we used to get a quarter of an orange during half time of whatever sport we were trying to play. A quarter of an orange. That’s it. And we didn’t die.
Vitamin C? You kids have it so good.
Yes and don’t forget all the item in D
damn autocorrect…
I meant to say…don’t forget about all the vitamin D we got from the hellishly hot African sun. It didnt seem people got skin cancer back then…
You guys get all the good vitamins.