When Daddy is not sleeping in the bed, Mommy sometimes lets the little people sneak in and cuddle up with her. Going back as far as Bambi, mommies seem to like to cuddle their babies. Daddies have a different take on it, since daddies are usually the ones who end up tumbling to the floor when the bed gets overcrowded. Also, daddies have targets painted over their kidneys, so little feet know exactly which spot to kick.
Due to Mommy’s generosity in these matters, and Daddy’s downright stinginess, childish minds color the parents’ room in a certain way. Daddy has a pillow; Mommy has a bed. Daddy has a little area of closet space; Mommy has a bedroom.
This domain belongs to Mommy. It’s her realm. Daddy would be nothing more than a sleepy vagabond if Mommy didn’t let him stay in her room until he finds his own keep. And it sure is taking him a long time to stand on his own two feet when it comes to lying down.
Daddy is just more competition for the warmest, softest, safest sleeping spot in the house.
One fell out and bumped his head.
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said:
“No more daddies sleeping in the bed.”
And then you get a three-year-old who thinks he’s a comedian making a shtick of the issue:
Yesterday, Big Man had a long nap, so he was not ready to go to bed at the same time as his older brothers. When Daddy’s bed time came, Mommy was asleep on the couch, but Big Man was still awake. I prefer for him to sleep in his own bed, but since he seemed too wired for that I gave him a choice. “You can go to your bed or you can sleep on the sofa in my room.”
“You don’t even have a room,” he replied, the huge grin on his face betraying how funny he thought he was.
“You can sleep in your own bed then.”
Out of necessity, he conceded I had some kind of mysterious special right to Mommy’s room, having been the priority squatter there. He came upstairs to the sofa.
As I was putting a blanket on him, he pointed to the bed. “I wanna sleep in the bed,” he said.
“No, not in my bed.”
“No. In Mommy’s bed,” he giggled.
I shook a finger at him. “Okay, Smartypants, you stay put and go to sleep. I’ll be right back. I’ve got to brush my teeth.”
The mirth in his voice followed me as he asked, “In Mommy’s bathroom?”
Snoozing on the Sofa 
So funny! Did you come back from brushing your teeth and find him in “mommy’s” bed?
Nope. Sometimes he understands the limits of comedy.
Smart kiddo!
He’s getting there.
So you too have been reduced to just one of now many squatters in mommies bedroom. These are sad times for daddies everywhere.
I’ve outlived my usefulness in that area of the house.
As have many more of us.
So many dinosaurs.
LOL 😀
Is this kind of like the “my son” when he does something good, “your son” when he does something bad routine? That’s too bad that everything is Mommy’s, but at least you’ve got a couch and it isn’t too far away. If you exercise your “usefulness” once more, you’ll be permanently relegated to the couch. 🙂
See where my usefulness has gotten me? I have resolved to never be useful again.
Whenever my husband makes a comment on my bed or cover hogging…I point out the closet and his 100 T shirts, 25 Work shirts, and various other shirts over-crowding the closet and more shoes than I! I organized him to show him just how many of..everything…he had. He was surprised – Oh? Well…I need all those. Just like I need all the bed (and blanket)
I’ve discovered that some people can turn over in bed without the blankets clinging to them while other people can’t roll at all without the blankets sticking to them like glue. Are you one of the sticky people?
Damn it – sticky! Yes, especially, now that I’m older and body changing and get HOT and sweaty – fling off the blankets, flop around, get cold, grab handful of blanket – flop around some more…
I’m glad I’m a man.
yes, so suck it up floor man (or couch man)
😂😂😂 OH, Scott! This is so funny! Not so funny for you I suppose but from our viewpoint it is. I missed the whole kid scenario and now I realize how lucky I am at times. LOL Don’t despair! A day really is coming you will have Mummy’s bed all to yourself (with Mum in it)! Hurray! LOL
Yes, one day I hope to be able to enjoy some of the stuff I’ve paid for.