The affection police are coming to hug you away

Some things from your youth flow into becoming part of the family culture you build with your children. From earliest childhood I was taught to stay out of the way. Doctors have their “first do no harm” principle and farm kids have their “first get out of the way” maxim. You don’t have to be doing the most important chore so long as you aren’t hindering the person who is. My boys aren’t farm kids, but I try to stress this awareness. I can’t teach staying out of the way as well as an 800 pound bull can, but I try.

Other parts of your upbringing you reconsider with your own children. I grew up in a non-huggy, non-kissy environment. My wife, who has far fewer Germans in her lineage, is all hugs all the time. While I am still not a confident hugger of adult people, I’ve adopted her system with our children.

I can’t imagine not hugging and kissing our children every day; it’s become so routine now for me to do it. Also, our children will not suffer themselves to be robbed of their rightful hugs and kisses. Mommy’s warm blood seems to have conquered my aloof genetics within them.

They are the affection police.

At bedtime I have to give three hugs and three kisses to make the world right for sleeping. Big Man’s kiss is actually a carefully choreographed series of kisses. He takes my head firmly between his hands and stamps my lips upon his face as he turns his head side to side. If I pull away before the process is complete, we have to start over. The same goes for Mommy.

This old picture of them kissing each other is more appealing than a new picture of them kissing their crusty old dad.

At 3 a.m. one morning I awoke to a boy standing beside my bed. I expected to hear the sad tale of a bad dream. Instead I heard mournful reality. “You didn’t hug me when I went to bed,” Buster lamented. That is, I didn’t hug him to his satisfaction. The midnight raid was just so I understand who is privileged to interpret the law.

Going to work is another ripe occasion for hugs and kisses. There is a program for this as well. Big Brother gets his at the table where does his reading. The little boys go to the door. Big Man is very particular about where he gets his hug and kiss. He will position me at the threshold if I am lax in my staging.

Mommy is last to get her kiss. Once, when I gave her only a quick peck, Big Man stepped forward, giving me a stern glance. “And a hug,” he demanded. I gave Mommy a proper hug and was allowed on my way.

Big Man isn’t always pro-hug. If I hug Mommy too long when neither of us is going away, he steps in to break it up. He doesn’t know where it might lead, but as reigning baby of the family, instinct tells him it could be dangerous.

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23 comments on “The affection police are coming to hug you away

  1. Lynn says:

    Never stop giving those hugs, regardless of how old your kids are. I hope that the affection police remain vigilant in their years to come.

  2. Big Man obviously understands the necessity of there being a hugging referee in every loving home. We should never underestimate the danger for fear of overcrowding. 😀

  3. I am ALL about the hugs! Good job! I grew up in a very huggy family and was fortunate enough to marry a huggy guy. In fact, I’d like a hug right now. Dammit, I’m home alone.

  4. Just Joan says:

    I’m from German lineage on both sides… so I get what you’re saying. Learning to be a hugger doesn’t come easy, but as long as it’s quick, I’m OK. Dogs are more my speed, snuggling but not clamping their arms around my neck. At least you have Hugging Etiquette Police to keep you straight. 🙂

  5. Jay says:

    Wow, you’ve got little hugging bandits!

  6. Gibber says:

    Now if you had a dollar for every hug…

  7. AmyRose🌹 says:

    Ohhhhhhh …. this is so endearing! I grew up in a German home so to see you understand how important hugs and kisses are warms my heart immensely. Hugs and kisses … the elixirs of Love. You’re doing a great job, Scott, as a Dad! 🙂 ❤

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