We’re trying to respect your personal space, Santa

I wanted to take Buster to the Home Depot kids’ workshop, but he threw a wrench at our Saturday morning by refusing to potty. Despite both Mommy’s and Daddy’s coaxing, he was adamant; his three-year-old bladder is tough, even after 10 hours of sleep. He usually sticks to his guns on such matters, but a few minutes later he conceded. “Daddy,” he said, hopping from one leg to the other, “You wight [right]. Mommy wight [right], too. I gotta go potty.” Even in urgent moments, he gives credit where credit is due.

Confident our building project wouldn’t be interrupted by a sudden Men’s Room steeple chase through Home Depot, we set out.

We encountered  an acquaintance sitting in a chair outside the kids’ workshop area. It was an awkward moment, because we weren’t expecting to see him and he didn’t seem to remember us. But Santa meets so many people he can be forgiven for not recognizing us right off. To mitigate the awkwardness, we quickly claimed our kit and set to work.

Meanwhile, Santa, who was on the young side, and planned to spend his day helping customers find pipe fittings when his manager handed him red suit, sat sheepishly in his chair, counting the moments until he could don the more comfortable orange apron.

poor Santa

Santa’s unease with children made more sense when we learned that his father was fatally mauled by a wild band of them. 

As Santa stewed in his regret over having drawn the short straw, we set to work building our blocks on a dowel stuck into a wooden base thingy. Buster is getting good with a hammer, which would be all good news if he were 12; for a preschooler it still has the potential to be a mixed blessing. We only made one mistake this time – an improvement for manly men like Buster and me who don’t need no stinking instructions.

On the way out, we passed Santa again. Hoping to lend some value to his time served beside these terrifying little people, I asked Buster to tell Santa what he wants for Christmas. Neither Buster nor Santa appeared keen on the proposed interaction, but I had refrained from any talk about sitting on laps, so neither fled screaming down the aisle.

Meanwhile, Busters unease with Santa is based on half-truths and misrepresentations.

Meanwhile, Buster’s unease with Santa is based on half-truths and misrepresentations.

At length, Buster whispered, “You tell him.” Santa’s eyes agreed this would be best.

“What do you want?” I asked Buster.

Buster leaned in so Santa couldn’t hear. “Star Wars LEGOs.”

I relayed the message. Santa stared at me for a while. Then, in a moment of inspiration, he replied, “Um, I’ll see what I can do.”

We left Santa to serve out his sentence as best he might and went home. Hours later, as darkness fell, Buster approached me with a sad face. “Star Wars LEGOs not coming,” he lamented. I explained that Santa didn’t come until Christmas, which must be some days away since we didn’t have a tree yet.

Buster was assuaged, but now I’m on the hook for Star Wars LEGOs. It’s one thing that they’re an expensive toy, but Buster’s hammering skills won’t build LEGOs. Guess how I’ll be spending Christmas.

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31 comments on “We’re trying to respect your personal space, Santa

  1. It’s probably just as well. I mean, with Santa having to augment his income by taking a second job at the Home Depot, he’s going to have a hard time making all the rounds on Christmas Eve, anyway. Oh what sad times these are when even Santa can’t come by Star Wars LEGOs, and has to work two jobs just to get by. I bet the unemployment is high at the North Pole this year.

  2. Jay says:

    I’m glad dad was there to diffuse the disappointing santa situation.

  3. George says:

    You have to carefully planout where you take your kids during the holiday season. You almost need to send out a scout team before you enter a building..:)

  4. tom w says:

    On the subject of that sadistic Home Depot manager-One of my career regrets (and there are many), is that I never put you in a Santa suit.

  5. Gibber says:

    Explaining how Santa lied?

  6. Maybe you could find some Star Trek Legos on sale. They’re practically the same thing.

  7. Not quite 40 says:

    Sounds as though Buster and my son have similar genes. Mine was hammering in nails accurately enough at 18 months to help put the backs on Ikea bookcases. And then unscrewed there handles on the kitchen cabinet. Also a fan of Star Wars lego so I know there ARE some smaller kits out there. At 3 1/2 he was putting them together himself – the smaller ones at least – much to our disappointment as we were then out of a job…

  8. AmyRose🌹 says:

    What I don’t get if you don’t like kids or are at ease around them, why in the heck would you even want to be a Santa? I don’t get it. Thank goodness you were there to save the day. Good luck with the LEGOS ….. hehehehehe, “Santa”. 😉 ❤

  9. AmyRose🌹 says:

    oops ….. NOT AT EASE >>>> not woken up yet ….. *cold water on face a must today!* 🙂

  10. Go all out and get the DEATH STAR – 🙂 My son is a Lego wiz and he has been begging us for that one for years! From the age of 6 to 12. Honey, it’s over $300 at Walmart, even. I’m never spending that kind of money on bricks unless it’s to help build our real house. Maybe Santa can bring it…uh…maybe, but he has lots of gifts to give and that’s kind of expensive to build all those little, itty bitty pieces.

    My son around the age of 6 or 7 asked why all the Santas looked differently in the skin. Papa Lee is Mexican and he just dressed up for fun. But the stores, each one saw tans, Asian santas and black Santas. All various people dressed up and kids could easily tell he wasn’t the same person.

    I had to quickly think…um, they are Santa’s helpers. We never know who the real santa is, because that’s a secret. He can’t be at all stores at once, because he’s busy with the elves at the North Pole making toys. Some stores he does pop in for a visit, we just never know which one or when or what he looks like. So best to be on your best behavior and you can tell those helper Santas and elves what you want and they will tell the real Santa. 🙂

    I was so proud of myself and had to pass on that tale to my husband so we were on the same page.

  11. Ahdad says:

    Interesting…it’s the same thing I wanted. Didn’t get it though…It seems Buster got preferential treatment this year….

  12. tutaj says:

    This website was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have
    found something which helped me. Thanks a lot!

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