On Friday morning, I got to get up and go to work. Doesn’t sound like much of a treat, does it?
It was a delight.
It wasn’t so pleasant because of what it was; it was pleasant for what it wasn’t.
It’s wasn’t getting three kids ready for school. Only Big Brother actually goes to school, but since society might frown on my leaving Buster and New Baby home alone, they all have to get ready to roll.
This is how my morning went, Monday through Thursday:
- Drag Big Brother out of bed by his ankles while he complains about being too tired.
- Two fresh diapers and one “Put on some pants or you’re going to school in your underwear.”
- Distinguish big baby clothes from small toddler clothes.
- Find pairs of nearly matching socks for three boys of different sizes from our box of random floating socks.
- Make the boys breakfast while New Baby attempts to climb up my leg.
- Yell, “Leave him alone and eat your breakfast!”
- Yell, “Leave him alone and eat your breakfast!” another dozen times.
- Be caught off guard because it’s Bring [Specific Object] to School Day and we don’t have [Specific Object].
- Find as many hats and winter coats as children, or as close to it as possible.
- “Put your shoes on.”
- “Well, where are they?”
- “Then go get them and put them on!”
- Back the car out of the garage so door will open wide enough for New Baby’s carrier.
- Come back inside for New Baby. Leave muddy tracks in kitchen. Look at clock. Shrug. Make mental note to prepare for after-work slovenliness scolding.
- Field ridiculously detailed questions about German army helmets on drive to school. “I don’t know,” is not an acceptable answer.
- Carry Big Brother’s school bag into school for him because his hands are cold.
- Ask him where his gloves are.
- Be informed that his gloves are at the bottom of the bag you are carrying for him.
- Take three children into school; leave one there; take two back to car.
- Drive to Mommy’s work. Drop children off. Debate confessing about muddy kitchen floor. Decide silence is golden.
- Drive to work. Find last parking spot on roof of structure or move on to more distant ramp with long, cold walk.
- Rush to catch up on work.
- Stay late to compensate for late arrival.
On Friday, my morning went like this:
- Wake up, get dressed, go to work.
- Park in usual, convenient spot. Have a hot bowl of oatmeal at desk and ease into workload.
A little slice of Heaven, Friday morning.
It makes me appreciate my boring routine. I think I like boring.
It makes me appreciate my wife. This week was an aberration. She dances this Morning Tango with the boys most days. She does it better, and she doesn’t get the floor dirty. I might not notice if she did, but I know she doesn’t. It’s not her style. It’s gold to me that she takes such tumult in stride, so her husband can stay happily boring.