It turns out that my son is something of a conspiracy theorist. So far, he hasn’t been big on producing evidence for his theories, but when you are four, you just know things. If evidence were such an important thing, somebody probably would have explained to you what evidence is by now. But they haven’t, have they? Case and point.
We were driving past a cemetery the other day when the boy asked, “Daddy, is this the graveyard?”
“Yes. It’s a cemetery.”
“Is this where they buried all the zombies?” He’s big on zombies just now.
“There aren’t any zombies. They’re just people who died.”
“Why can’t we see the people who are buried there?”
“Because they are buried, underground.”
“I know they’re buried, but why do they have those big, square rocks on top of the graves?”
“Those are headstones. They tell you who’s buried there.”
“I think I know who’s buried in there.”
“Oh, you do? Who?”
“Mr. Lincoln.” The boy has an unusual reverence for Abraham Lincoln. He might have gotten some of this from me, but we can’t be sure at this point.
“He is? Is Mr. Washington buried there too?”
“No. Mr. Washington is buried in a different graveyard, in a different town.”
“I should think he is.”
“You know who else is buried in there?”
“Mr. Lincoln’s mother.” Sorry, conspiracy buffs, he didn’t specify Nancy or Sarah.
“Yup. She is. You know who else isn’t buried in there?”
“I would hope not.”
“Nope. John Booth is buried in a graveyard in China.”
“Yeah, because that’s where he lives now.”
So, apparently, John Wilkes Booth did escape to Asia after all. I had always heard that he fled to India, but the updated story indicates it was China. What makes this new information even more startling is that, by all indications, he is still alive, although buried in a graveyard. That can’t be too comfortable for him, especially at his age.
Sounds like somebody has been watching the History Channel without Daddy again.