The great, golden ecdysiast in the sky

Saturday was our university’s spring football game. They divide the team in two and have an open scrimmage in the stadium. It’s not a nail-biter as far as sporting events go, but it’s getting to be a big event. It’s free and some universities bring in upwards of 100,000 fans. Ours was closer to 50,000 fans.

We weren’t among them. We were at a more important game: the second game of the first-grade spring soccer season.

I like watching Big Brother play soccer. He may not be headed for a professional career, but he likes playing. Watching him celebrate when a teammate scores a goal is worth the price of admission.

The price of admission is herding him and his brothers to the car and getting to the field on time. Not always an easy price.

New Baby fell asleep on the way, so Mommy stayed in the car with him. I spent the first half carrying Buster, so he wouldn’t run off to the adjacent playground.

It was a good game; everybody was into the action. Then Buster pointed to a small plane in the distance. As the plane neared, we could see it was trailing an advertising banner.  Buster had never seen this before, so it captured his attention. He pointed to the banner and asked what it was.

I started to explain, then lost my words as I realized the banner was advertising a local “Gentlemen’s Club.” The blonde girl-next-door-type, flapping in the wind at 1000 feet, stood next to the all-caps “SHOWGIRLS” declaration.

One by one, people began to look up. Coaches began smiling at each other. The game slowed down until it crawled to a virtual stop.

grounded stripper

Just imagine what Nettie might have accomplished behind an airplane. She was a victim of her own era.

The plane passed over and the enchanting lady in the sky diminished in our sight until she almost seemed merely two-dimensional. Buster told me the plane was going away and wasn’t coming back. He was right.

I’m glad Big Brother was in the game; otherwise I would have had to explain what a showgirl is. Buster can’t read, so all he saw was a plane pulling a big piece of paper. And that was enough.

The promotion couldn’t have been for us. Some of us are too innocent for that sort of thing, and the rest get their allowances mostly in quarters. I’m not sure how SHOWGIRLS feel about being tipped with change. Maybe if you warm it up sufficiently first, it’s all right, but I’d bet they prefer paper money.

I figured we were between the spring football game and the airfield. Otherwise, this advertiser wasn’t getting much bang for his buck. It was an inspiring message though; Big Brother scored a goal soon after. This is something he rarely does when not encouraged by heavenly blondes.

Buster had seen an airplane, and that was all he was going to get out of the game. He dragged me off to the playground for the second half. Meanwhile, Mommy slept in the car with New Baby and the iPhone. Nobody even got a picture of the pretty woman flying through the sky.


17 comments on “The great, golden ecdysiast in the sky

  1. Dean B says:

    I have to remind myself that American football is different from what they call football in this part of the world 😉

  2. I was in Seattle for the opening of the Mariners’ season and there was a similar plane flying around. It said, “You’ll always score at DREAMGIRLS.” I took a picture as it flew by our hospital window. Sounds like strip clubs are classing up their advertising all over the US.

    • That seems like false advertising, based upon every possible literal or figurative meaning of the word score I can think of. The only thing that could be more disturbing is if it weren’t false advertising.

  3. A.PROMPTreply says:

    Oh my. What a way to advertise! Am glad your little one was too young to read it and you were spared the explanation!

  4. markbialczak says:

    Heck of an afternoon, Scott. Better than the split-squad Uni game in front of all those college fans gawking at the broad banner, that’s for sure. Your innocent guy scoring his goal in front of his playful brother liking the plane for the plane with mom and baby snoozing in the car is a slice of life I could live with happily. Good times, pops.

  5. That was the advertising of the “future.” Fly over soccer fields and plant subliminal messages in little tyke minds, so that later they will all seek out that place of business, assuming they are still in business that many years later. 🙂 It’s genius.

    I think you just gave me an idea for my next post. 🙂

  6. Angie Mc says:

    Scott, I about spit out my beverage reading this, totally didn’t see Nellie coming in this story! Congratulations on the game and masterful evasion of having to explain our strange world to you sweet family. I miss the days of staying in the car with baby ❤

  7. […] I was reading a post at Snoozing on the Sofa and he was talking about his young boy (the eldest of 3) was playing soccer.  Which got me to […]

  8. pieterk515 says:

    Alrighty then…

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