There’s an old American phrase: “Give it the old college try.” If you are not American and old, you may not have heard it. To give it the old college try means to lend a task your best effort, even if you believe the challenge may go beyond your abilities.
Saturday morning, we woke up to six inches of new fallen snow. I went out to shovel. Buster was planning on coming out to help, but when I told him he had to wear his snow pants, he decided he’d rather stay inside and whine about how much he hated wearing snow pants.
The snow was wet and heavy – the kind they refer to as Heart Attack Snow, because it takes down so many older gentlemen like me through overexertion. I didn’t experience any coronary events, but it was slow going through the heavy snow.
When I was half way through our driveway, Big Brother came outside, wearing snow pants and not whining about it, which made him my favorite kid for the moment. I asked him to grab a shovel and begin on the neighbor’s driveway. Our neighbor does helpful things for us, and I’m trying to teach the boys to be neighborly.
Big Brother went to work on the neighbor’s driveway and kept up a good pace for all of three minutes. Then he came back, complaining of tightness in his shoulders. I told him that’s what hard work feels like and if he did it a little more often the tightness wouldn’t come around so quickly.
I said he could take a break, which he understood to mean he should go inside. He did reassure me that he might come back out after a while.
A good day’s work – when you are 11 and disinterested in work.
There was no sign of him when I finished our driveway and sidewalks. I walked to the neighbor’s driveway to see what Big Brother had accomplished before his shoulders gave out on him. He’d cleared a fine-looking rectangle with sharp right angles. His work was an ode to geometry – a very small ode. Seeing the extent of his industry inspired me to think of the old college try.
I don’t know why it made me think of the old college try, because there was no evidence of it here. I’m calling what he had given “the old middle school try.” The old middle school try is what happens when your dad asks you to do something and it turns out to be harder than you thought, so you come up with excuses to give up after a few minutes.
I couldn’t leave the driveway in that condition, so I finished shoveling the snow. Thanks to the old middle school try, nearly 10% of it was already done for me. By the time I was finished, my shoulders and forearms were sore. It’s right that I should have more sore spots than the kid, since I’ve had the benefit of college and he’s only been to middle school.
Snoozing on the Sofa 
Well, at least he tried…
. . . a little bit.
I’m surprised he didn’t finish it. Usually kids want to do things for other people that they won’t do for us.
Yup. I should’ve had the neighbor ask him to do it. Then there would have been some pressure to please somebody. Where were you when I needed you?
Snoozing on my sofa.
What a horrible place to be!
Well, remember I have a new couch.
You mean that car parked in your living room?
That one.
Do not despair, often my college tries included libation for inspiration. I’m sure your glad he may have done it for hot cocoa.
He’s not getting any cocoa for that effort. I hope he learns to put more into to it when he starts expecting a beer.
I personally like to give it the old kindergarten try. This involves frequent naps and snacks and maybe half a day of actual work at best.
Kindergarten is an all-day job these days. Better roll up your sleeves.
So funny.I might have had him go back and give it the old college try. Last week we had so much snow here I was shovelling a couple of times a day. Add in it was -50 out and that’s in Canadian degrees.
-50 Canadian. What’s that, about 10 cents American?
Ha ha! It’s snot freezing cold. Like step outside and get instant frost bite.
I prefer my snot at room temperature, thanks.
Oh man so many jokes!
That’s how we roll.
Well, um, sorry but I’m not impressed by Big Brother’s efforts. Poor Dad had to shovel two drives. That’s a lot, Scott, especially with heavy wet snow. I take my hat off to YOU not Big Brother. Hard work pays off …. Dad knows. Don’t you?
If some 6th grade girl had asked him to shovel, instead of his dad, I think he would have shoveled all day long. It’s just a question of providing the proper motivation.
Oh oh the teen years are fast approaching and it sounds like your son has gotten a taste of them already. How well I remember ….
Yup, that train’s barreling down the tracks.
You have my empathies. Really.
I’ll take it.