The reason this blog isn’t as good as it could be – Spoiler Alert: it’s me

Many of the posts I write stem from something funny one of my kids said. With all the hilarious things they say (both intentionally and unintentionally), you’d think I’d have more than enough material to post quite often. And I would, if I could remember things.

Last week, Big Man and Buster had a hilarious conversation. It would have made for an excellent blog post. I remember it was hilarious, but I don’t remember anything they said. What’s more, I don’t even remember what they were talking about.

So why did I wait a week to try to write it down? I didn’t. I wanted to make something of it the very next day. Even then, I could not remember a single word either had said, or what topic they were discussing. All I knew was that they cracked me up, and probably would have cracked you up too, if their father had any kind of memory.

To be accurate, there are some things I do remember: the dates of a great many Civil War battles; lyrics to 1940s ballads; the Pythagorean Theorem and how to apply it.

Antietam (Sharpsburg, if you’re a Confederate): September 17, 1862. Just one of many dates locked in my memory.

On the other hand, there are lots of arguably more useful things I tend to forget: what my kid needs to take to school today; the coupons I have in my pocket at the grocery checkout; where I’m driving to – if it isn’t to or from work. Less important but still vexing: the plot of nearly every novel I’ve ever read.

When not traveling to work, I like a friend to drive me. Otherwise I will end up . . . at work.

Since I’m getting a little long in the tooth, you may naturally conclude that age is getting the better of me. While this is certainly true, it is not the cause of my forgetfulness. I’ve always been absent-minded. There is limited space for information in my brain. All the bits I try to stuff into that walnut shell compete with each other like rats in a crowed cage, inevitably killing each other off, until the sole survivor is the tune to a commercial jingle from 1975 – the winner and still champion!

So, the reason this blog doesn’t happen more often, and isn’t as sharp as it should be when it does happen, is me. Sure, those little comics who can’t be bothered to record their own jokes aren’t exactly helping, but the buck stops with the blog registrant.

I’m not one to write notes as things are happening; I noticed in school that when I took notes I ended up missing the important tidbits. I write too slowly to keep up and I’d end up missing all the punchlines.

The truly amazing thing is that I’ve managed to retain so much of their words to actually get what posts I have out of them. That must be some sort of redeeming quality. Or maybe, sometimes, they say things that are more important to me than where I’m driving to. Some days, their words are probably almost as important as that old TV commercial. Almost.

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23 comments on “The reason this blog isn’t as good as it could be – Spoiler Alert: it’s me

  1. floatinggold says:

    It’s a constant between being in the moment and getting souvenirs. Imagine pulling out a notebook and writing things down as they go. You wouldn’t enjoy them as much, then.

  2. We like the blog posts you do make. I think all of us experience the problem of remembering the wrong things. For example, I’m practically a savant when it comes to ’80’s song lyrics. Remembering to do everything I am supposed to get done? Not even with a list! Even if I can remember where I put the list!

  3. Just Joan says:

    Ah-ha! It’s that damn Pythagorean Theorem and all those jingles clogging up the works! It’s helpful to be able to calculate the hypotenuse of a sandwich cut on the diagonal, and to know the first and last name of the bologna inside it (Oscar Mayer), but I should probably save some space in my walnut shell for remembering what day the trash man cometh and what my neighbor’s name is, in case I bump into her as I’m wheeling the cans out at the last minute. I do that with the coupons, too. I stuff them in the outside pocket of my purse, buy Hellman’s mayo and Bush’s beans instead of the store brands. But when the cashier says “Do you have any coupons?” I brain-fart and say, “Nope.” You might consider recording your kids funny conversations, but beware. My mom tried that once. While we kids were folding clothes in the laundry room, she planted the tape player just outside the door. The recording was all mumbles and static except for one sentence. My little sister yells, “Look! Mom’s got pee streaks in her underwear!” and laughs like a maniac. I just finished Temp–Gary Gray’s idiosyncrasies were weird but oddly universal and kept me turning pages right to the end. Keep writing, Snoozin, and I’ll keep reading. 🙂

    • If only I could get cashiers who ask if I’ve got coupons. Maybe I look like the kind of shopper who wouldn’t bother with them. Remembering to cash in bottle return slips is even worse. And if I’ve got a kid or two with me, forget about it.
      Thank you very much for supporting my for-profit (in my dreams) writing as well. I do so appreciate it.

  4. thegsandwich says:

    I know writers who walked around with notebooks in their chest pockets to write things down, and guess what? They’re not writing any more. The stuff that sticks is the stuff that you’re supposed to write about. The rest is just for you.

  5. Gibber says:

    Now I forget what I was going to say. Where am I? How did I get here?

  6. AmyRose🌹 says:

    I’m going to make you feel better. You have SO much going on in your life you just don’t have room in your brain to retain it all. I know the feeling quite well, Scott. Seems I just had this conversation with myself the other day, questioning is it cuz the age situation I’m not seemingly remembering things? No. Just too much happening, most of it very upsetting. Now you on the other hand with 3 kids and working and a marriage …. well, need I say more? You’ve got a lot of stuff on your plate. When things come fast and furious, we just cannot absorb everything. That’s my theory. 😉

  7. Jan Whitaker says:

    But somehow you manage to do extremely well in capturing the loving madness at your house!

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