It’s Snowdaypalooza!

In the past couple weeks our schools have had at least seven snow days. It might have been more, but I lost count in the delirium of the cabin fever. Being housebound with three boys, preschool through 5th grade, felt like a bad episode of Big Brother at first. Then it began to feel like Lord of the Flies.

Our first two snow days were the result of an actual snow storm. When that got cleaned up, the Polar Vortex saw its chance to swoop down on us, giving us high temperatures in the neighborhood of -3° F (-19°C). I’m glad there’s now an official name for a good old-fashioned cold snap. Things are more dramatic when they have names that are capitalized. People might not understand closing school for an arctic blast, but having the Polar Vortex descend upon you is serious business.

That moment you realize the cold spell you see coming is actually the Polar Vortex.

After two days of keeping kids at home, the Vortex got bored and moved on. The temperatures rose to near freezing. Yay!

Ice storms. Boo!

The ice storms had names too, because that’s how storms roll these days. I don’t think it’s a good idea to name storms. It makes the storms competitive. Every storm wants to be remembered by name, so instead of just enjoying themselves and scooting through on the trade winds, they get as nasty as possible to leave their marks: “Winter Storm Gretchen was here! Boom! Two inches of ice! Power outages! Downed trees! Plus, I made you fall and bruise your ass! Won’t forget old Gretchen now will ya?”

I didn’t learn the names of the storms. I won’t play their games. My ass bruise will always be a nameless tragedy.

Anyway, our house shrunk to the size of chicken coop over the course of the innumerable snow days. At first, the boys were excited at having no school. They expressed their pleasure by running headlong into each other and executing other WWE maneuvers. They screeched for the sake of the noise and balked at any and all activities carrying the least stench of learning on them.

As time passed, they began to expect each coming day to be one with no school. Too often their expectations proved correct. The thrill of the surprise vacation waned. In their ennui they ran headlong into each other and executed other WWE maneuvers. Bored, they screeched for the sake of the noise. In their desperation to live free within their homebound world, they balked at any and all activities carrying the least stench of learning on them.

It got a little tiring, especially since I made them start each day with horrible school stuff like reading, spelling, and practicing the violin. The protests were loud and grating. But at noon we had a lunch fit for three kings to complain about, followed by an afternoon of parental surrender, tablet screens, and PlayStation.

Today we have school again. I deserve a vacation. Maybe going to work will seem like one.



13 comments on “It’s Snowdaypalooza!

  1. thegsandwich says:

    You will know when you have cabin fever when you start to laugh hysterically for no reason. Been there, done that. Glad my youngest is 17.

  2. Just Joan says:

    How many more days until spring??!! I agree about not naming the snowstorms. OK they’ve been doing it for hurricanes for forever, but a winter storm during winter isn’t exactly moniker-worthy. Of course, you won’t soon forget old hag Gretchen, Queen of the Black and Blue. Her friends Imogene and Hortense are waiting in the wings to bring more snow days and falls on your duff. I’m sure the boys were not at all saddened by staying home from school, and were playing the world’s smallest violin, just for you. 🙂

  3. Gibber says:

    I guess you can’t just throw them out in the snow bank either. Ugh I can’t imagine. Our weather up here has been -43 degrees C. It’s been insane. We thankfully haven’t had power outages or downed anything. Lots of snow and or ice on a given day.

    Sorry about your ass bruise but you could milk it for all it’s worth. You’re in too much pain to get up so you need to be waited on hand and foot.

    On a serious note hope it’s okay and good that nothing was broken. WAIT…You don’t go to Dr.’s. So did you? Do you know if your ass is broken or not?! LOL

  4. AmyRose🌹 says:

    These school closings are so different from when I went to school. We went to school in blizzards. That school never closed unless there were 8 foot drifts of snow. We had to WALK to school in that dastardly weather. We had to STAND at an open bus stop waiting for the bus in freezing conditions. So glad you got your kids back in school. What are you going to do come Summer?

    • Summer will present a whole new kind of challenge. The only sure thing is it will cost us $$$ for a daytime babysitter. At least the boys will be able to stay outside a lot and can better stay out of each others’ ways.

  5. floatinggold says:

    I never remember hurricane names. I’m right there with you. It’s silly to name these storms.

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