When my wife found some of those new Chicken & Waffles flavored potato chips in the grocery store, she was very excited. No, chicken and waffles is not her favorite dish. She’s never had chicken and waffles in her life. The first time she saw it on a menu, she thought it was a misprint. She’s never come close to trying it at a restaurant.
It’s all about the potato chip. For a long time, her entire adult life, at least, she has fantasized about new and exotic potato chip flavors. She tells me that they should make a this-and-that-flavored chip. I nod and agree. Sometimes they actually do come out with her flavor, or one resembling it. Then she gets upset and asks me why I didn’t submit her idea first, when we still could have been made rich by it. I shrug and apologize.
Whether or not they stole her idea for their newest flavor, she wants to taste it. She wants to have experienced every potato chip flavor known to mankind. Chicken & Waffles was never her idea, which spared me a scolding, and that is the best thing I can say about it.
I came in from the garage with the last load of groceries to find her slumped over the kitchen sink.
ME: “What’s wrong?”
WIFE: (Gagging noise.) “Oh my God, they’re wretched.” (Gagging noise.)
ME: “What is?”
WIFE: (Hacking into the sink, points at the newly opened bag of chips on the counter beside her.) “Get me some juice!”
ME: “I told you it was a horrible idea.”
WIFE: (Between hacks.) “Don’t talk! Get juice!”
ME: “What kind of juice?”
WIFE: “JUICE! NOW!”
ME: “Here.” (Handing her a glass of juice.)
WIFE: (Downs juice in three gulps. Turns to me with watering eyes.) “That is the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. I’ve never had anything so wretchedly horrible. There’s never been a food so awful. It literally made me puke.” (She picks up the bag and shoves it into my chest.) “You have to try one.”
Is the world this desperate? Somebody should be working on Tar & Feathers flavored chips right about now.
Snoozing on the Sofa 
That bad, eh? I didn’t really care for the sriracha or whatever it’s called either. The best chip is a local one that is associated with the area ghettos for some reason, but I find them delightful. They’re called Red Hot Riplets. They’re a must try for your wife.
I’ll let her know. Personally, I prefer the ones that taste like a crispy slice of potato with a little salt on them. But that’s just me; I don’t need to be on the cutting edge of anything.
I think your wife and I would get along really well.
You could make each other share the pain.
While you and my husband ate the rest of the Chicken and Waffle chips
I promise, he can have them all.
Grosssss!!
Sea salt and vinegar is where it’s at.
What happened to potato chip flavored potato chips?
There’s something about human nature that insists we involve others in our misery. A friend of mine brought in some yogurt and handed it to me saying, “I think this has gone bad. Will you try it?”
At least they asked you. I was given an order.
Chips! No Way! Try some creamed chicken on eggos…mmmm mmmm good!!
Good to see that you’re still a wild man, Tom.
My husband hates when I do that and most often refuses. That’s no fun.
What a stick in the mud he is!
Oh my god…I can’t believe a human brain could ever conceive chicken & waffles potatoe chips! Luckily I live in a corner of the globe where vinegar on chips is considered extravagant. I sympathize with your wife…I reckon they could use her brain at Lays.
They’d probably try to make potato chips out of it. They’ll make a chip out of whatever they can squeeze into their deep fryer.
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Did you try it? Did you hate it as much as she did?
I have to admit that I’m a sucker for new flavors, as well. Like you, I like the potato flavored potato chips with a pinch of salt (or those with cheese, but cheese is good on anything, so it goes without saying). However, I am often curious about the new flavors. I have never tried this particular one because… it just doesn’t sound right to me.
I’ve ordered chicken waffles once, because I seemed to have been the only person not to know it and love it. After trying it, I can now proudly state that this is NOT something that I will ever order again.
I would not eat them in box. I would not eat them with a fox.