While I’m getting ready to leave for work my wife notices me poking around in my ear with my finger.
WIFE: What’s wrong with you?
ME: I got an itch inside my ear.
WIFE: Oh, that means good news in coming?
ME: (Staring at her in disbelief) What?
WIFE: When your ear itches it means good news is coming.
ME: Says who?
WIFE: I don’t know. The people who keep track of this stuff. It’s just a thing.
ME: I’ve never heard of it.
WIFE: (Shrugs and looks at me like it’s not her fault I’m an uneducated yokel)
ME: Are you just an old wife, making up a tale?
WIFE: I didn’t make it up. It’s a thing.
ME: (Walking toward the door) Okay, I’ll be on the look-out for good news then.
WIFE: (Following me to the door) Wait. Which ear is it?
ME: (Poking my finger into my ear) The right one.
WIFE: (Screwing up her face like she’s concentrating on getting the facts straight) Oooooh! In that case it might be bad news.
ME: Great!
WIFE: Well, have a good day at work.
ME: I’ll do my best, now that I don’t know if I’m about to strike it rich or fall to my death.
WIFE: I mean, that’s pretty much the same as any other day, right?
In case you’re wondering, it turned out to be good news: my ear eventually stopped itching.
“Tell us doctor, do you see good news or bad behind the wax? We need this data for our scientific study.”
Snoozing on the Sofa 
I heard something similar about itchy palms. Right – you will be shaking hands with someone (making a friend), left – you will be counting money (some money will fall into your lap).
I never suffer itchy palms, which explains why I have no money or friends.
Made me chuckle.
LOL. My mom had a ton of these. Thanks for the good memories.
I wish somebody would tell me which itch is the harbinger of literary success. I could use an itch like that.
I thought an itchy ear meant someone was talking/gossiping about you. Lots of people like to read gossip, so maybe if you listen real close and write down what you hear, that will bring you literary success. 🙂
I think that’s a ringing in the ear. Anyway, I’ll try your advice. Who knows, I could become the next Louella Parsons.
I never heard that, and I have itchy ears all the time. I thought it was my allergies. I know if your nose itches, it means you’re going to kiss a fool (what does that say about my husband?). I heard about if your palm itches you’re going to get money. Does that mean if the back of your hand itches you’re going to lose money? That would explain my financial state. I can’t believe your wife did not take offense at your calling her old. Great line, though. Hey, I’m an old wife. I’m going to make up some tales!
See, that’s why I robbed the cradle. When I ask my wife if she’s old, she just looks at my leathery face and laughs. It works out great.
That use to happen to me a lot, annoying itch inside my ear. It usually happened when I was sitting in some meeting at work. How do you scratch it when you are sitting at a table with people who probably think you are crazy anyway?
A little crazy maybe, but they loved you. And they would have done so even with a finger in your ear.
I think an itchy anything just means you need to scratch it so it doesn’t continue you drive you insane.
Yes, but the ear canal is vexingly narrow.
Maybe borrow your wife’s fingernail.
I’m sure she wants no part of that.
Well it was worth a try. lol
Did you know when your ears ring, especially your left one, someone is talking about you? LOL
If you have tinnitus, does that mean you’re a very popular topic of conversation?
Yep. As in gossip I suppose. Let’um talk. If they have nothing better to do, then I’m glad I’m giving them something to do. 😉
Surely no one would gossip about you, Amy.
I’m the “oddball”, Scott. I care for how many cats????? LOL 😆
Oh yeah. The “cat lady” I keep hearing people talk about.