Conversations with my wife: My itchy ear

While I’m getting ready to leave for work my wife notices me poking around in my ear with my finger.

WIFE: What’s wrong with you?

ME: I got an itch inside my ear.

WIFE: Oh, that means good news in coming?

ME: (Staring at her in disbelief) What?

WIFE: When your ear itches it means good news is coming.

ME: Says who?

WIFE: I don’t know. The people who keep track of this stuff. It’s just a thing.

ME: I’ve never heard of it.

WIFE: (Shrugs and looks at me like it’s not her fault I’m an uneducated yokel)

ME: Are you just an old wife, making up a tale?

WIFE: I didn’t make it up. It’s a thing.

ME: (Walking toward the door) Okay, I’ll be on the look-out for good news then.

WIFE: (Following me to the door) Wait. Which ear is it?

ME: (Poking my finger into my ear) The right one.

WIFE: (Screwing up her face like she’s concentrating on getting the facts straight) Oooooh! In that case it might be bad news.

ME: Great!

WIFE: Well, have a good day at work.

ME: I’ll do my best, now that I don’t know if I’m about to strike it rich or fall to my death.

WIFE: I mean, that’s pretty much the same as any other day, right?

In case you’re wondering, it turned out to be good news: my ear eventually stopped itching.

Checking for good news

“Tell us doctor, do you see good news or bad behind the wax? We need this data for our scientific study.”


22 comments on “Conversations with my wife: My itchy ear

  1. floatinggold says:

    I heard something similar about itchy palms. Right – you will be shaking hands with someone (making a friend), left – you will be counting money (some money will fall into your lap).

  2. Sandy Wolters says:

    LOL. My mom had a ton of these. Thanks for the good memories.

  3. Just Joan says:

    I thought an itchy ear meant someone was talking/gossiping about you. Lots of people like to read gossip, so maybe if you listen real close and write down what you hear, that will bring you literary success. 🙂

  4. I never heard that, and I have itchy ears all the time. I thought it was my allergies. I know if your nose itches, it means you’re going to kiss a fool (what does that say about my husband?). I heard about if your palm itches you’re going to get money. Does that mean if the back of your hand itches you’re going to lose money? That would explain my financial state. I can’t believe your wife did not take offense at your calling her old. Great line, though. Hey, I’m an old wife. I’m going to make up some tales!

  5. Tom W says:

    That use to happen to me a lot, annoying itch inside my ear. It usually happened when I was sitting in some meeting at work. How do you scratch it when you are sitting at a table with people who probably think you are crazy anyway?

  6. Gibber says:

    I think an itchy anything just means you need to scratch it so it doesn’t continue you drive you insane.

  7. AmyRose🌹 says:

    Did you know when your ears ring, especially your left one, someone is talking about you? LOL

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