While I’m getting ready to leave for work my wife notices me poking around in my ear with my finger.
WIFE: What’s wrong with you?
ME: I got an itch inside my ear.
WIFE: Oh, that means good news in coming?
ME: (Staring at her in disbelief) What?
WIFE: When your ear itches it means good news is coming.
ME: Says who?
WIFE: I don’t know. The people who keep track of this stuff. It’s just a thing.
ME: I’ve never heard of it.
WIFE: (Shrugs and looks at me like it’s not her fault I’m an uneducated yokel)
ME: Are you just an old wife, making up a tale?
WIFE: I didn’t make it up. It’s a thing.
ME: (Walking toward the door) Okay, I’ll be on the look-out for good news then.
WIFE: (Following me to the door) Wait. Which ear is it?
ME: (Poking my finger into my ear) The right one.
WIFE: (Screwing up her face like she’s concentrating on getting the facts straight) Oooooh! In that case it might be bad news.
WIFE: Well, have a good day at work.
ME: I’ll do my best, now that I don’t know if I’m about to strike it rich or fall to my death.
WIFE: I mean, that’s pretty much the same as any other day, right?
In case you’re wondering, it turned out to be good news: my ear eventually stopped itching.