Conversations with my wife: Battlefields

My wife and I were trying to decide what attractions in Northern Virginia we would like to visit.

ME: We could always go to Manassas. That’s not too far away.

WIFE: What’s that?

ME: It’s a battlefield. In fact there were two battles fought there, so it’s kind of a two-fer.

WIFE: Oh. Another battlefield. Great.

ME: What’s wrong with battlefields?

WIFE: I can never even tell which part of the countryside is the actual battlefield. You always want to drive a hundred miles to look at trees and grass.

View of river from Ft. Donelson, TN

Trees and grass . . . and rivers! The pleasant, wooden deck to the right is, no doubt, completely historically accurate. (This is Fort Donelson, TN.)

ME: I always explain what happened where.

WIFE: You always say, “The Indians came in from over here,” like you think it’s important to me to know what direction Indians are apt to come from.

ME: I’ve never taken you to a battlefield that involved Indians.

WIFE: Well somebody told me where the Indians came from. I didn’t just conjure that up on my own.

ME: Are you sure I said Indians?

WIFE: How do expect me to keep track? You’re always pointing at a berm and saying, “So-and-so did this-and-that over there.” What you don’t get is that, to us non-history-fanatics, it’s just a field.

ME: It’s part of your American Heritage. We should see some of these battlefields before they’re all built over with malls.

WIFE: There’s a mall?

Monument at Bull Run

A monument at Manassas National Battlefield. Apparently, the cows attacked from the left background. I can’t verify this, because I haven’t been there yet.


20 comments on “Conversations with my wife: Battlefields

  1. Oh, man, can I relate to this conversation… sigh…

  2. Oh Scott, I’m with your wife on this one. lol

  3. stacybuckeye says:

    I can give you multiple page list of things to do in NoVa (many with historical value) and none of those things would be a battlefield.

  4. Tom Woolsey says:

    Wife: There’s a Mall? — Love it! Actually, some of the best battles were fought AT a Mall! I Refereed more than a few of them.

  5. Trevor Rees says:

    Scott, My wife was very patient when we went to Shiloh and Vicksburg. I wouldn’t subject her to it again though. Shashi got into Shiloh a little but Vicksburg was a total snore to her; sieges, to observers are a bit boring. T

  6. yearstricken says:

    I loved the post and the captions.

  7. I thought Virginia is for lovers. Is Northern Virginia set aside for fighters?

  8. Suze says:

    The coes did indeed come from over there..I know this as I was raised in Virginia and both my father and husband forced me to visit the battlefield and learn such things…the Indians came from the far left by the way!

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