Conversations with my wife: Yogurt Cups

Following my son’s lead, my wife recently discovered a taste for yogurt. The difference is that she didn’t suddenly dislike it as soon as we bought it and brought it home. My wife found a different problem with her yogurt. The little single-serving plastic containers that are tapered at the opening vex her to no end.

WIFE: I love this yogurt, but this container is making me so angry. I can’t get to all the yogurt inside. Seriously, how do you get all the yogurt out?

ME: Maybe you need a smaller spoon.

WIFE: If my spoon were any smaller, I wouldn’t be able to taste the yogurt on it. Look at all that yogurt hiding under the lip. Why do these things need a lip anyway? It’s not like they have a real top on them. It’s just a stupid piece of aluminum foil.

ME: Maybe the lip is there to compensate for the lack of a real top.

WIFE: Look at me, scraping around the sides of this thing. It makes me feel poor, like I’m some hungry beggar who found an open yogurt container alongside the road. And here I am, digging for scraps. This is pitiful.

ME: I think you missed a little bit, down in that dark corner.

WIFE: Oh my gosh, digging around this container is making me so hungry. I need to go get another one.

ME: I think you’ve just discovered the answer to why they make you work so hard for it.

WIFE: How many of these do I have to go through before I feel like I’ve gotten my 60 cents worth of yogurt?

ME: You should write the company and tell them they owe you a coupon for free yogurt to make up for all of it you couldn’t dig out of the cup.

WIFE: Good idea. You write the letter. I’ll mail it when you’re done.

ME: Why can’t you write the letter?

WIFE: Can’t you see how busy I am here?

Don’t go through our recycle bin looking for yogurt scraps. All you’ll find is the clean bones of tortured yogurt cups who paid the price for their reticence.

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9 comments on “Conversations with my wife: Yogurt Cups

  1. Oh man. I feel your wife’s pain. Some of the packaging is ridiculous. My pet peeve is a certain ice cream sandwich with a foil wrapper. Do you have any idea how fast an ice cream sandwich melts when it’s 115 degrees in Phoenix, Arizona? By the time you get the wrapper off, if you can get the wrapper off, you have a melted mess on your hands. I’m certain this is why there are so many accidents on Phoenix roads.

    • Scott Nagele says:

      I like my ice cream sandwiches a little melted, but I never have the patience to let it sit long enough. Maybe I should move to Phoenix. I’m still not gonna buy your brand of sandwich though, cause I hate things I can’t get the wrapper off of.

  2. I am TOTALLY with your wife on this one! Those stupid yogurt containers are so frustrating. About 3 years ago, I decided to just give up and toss out the 13% of remaining yogurt along with the container. It just wasn’t worth the frustration.

    If I get osteoporosis, I’m blaming Danone.

  3. yearstricken says:

    Delicious.

    You should just send the company this post. Whoever reads the complaint letters would thank you.

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