In the garden of time

When we first moved into our house, my wife and I wanted a vegetable garden. A flat piece of lawn behind the garage seemed the best spot.

There are a lot of hungry creatures, with big front teeth, in our neighborhood. We would need a fence before we planted anything.

We had no experience building fences, and too little money to pay somebody to build one. But we had a fresh homeowner’s optimism and a starter set of tools. We wouldn’t be deterred from our dream of fresh peas and string beans.

We bought lath wood, fastening hardware, and a staple gun. We didn’t know that we didn’t know what we were doing, and on the strength of our vast ignorance, we produced a 10’ x 12’ fenced garden.

It was actually kind of cute. The rodents thought so. They admired our rustic enclosure as they borrowed under it. They appreciated its ineffective beauty as they mowed our infant produce to the ground. They wished we would build similar, ornamental fences around additional tasty treats elsewhere in the yard.

It took three years, submerged chicken wire, sunken garden borders, and a fist fight with a ground hog before our garden fence became useful security against the order of Rodentia. Then came our salad days. Our third-rate soil was good for a handful of peas and enough spinach, lettuce, and cucumbers for two medium-sized salads each summer. Carrots and radishes wouldn’t grow in the clay.

We began raising children as well. Each year, the garden was planted later, the weeds were given more authority, and the fence looked less fresh.

Abused and distorted by many winters.

The variety of plants we grew diminished at the inverse rate to the number of children demanding attention. Even the rodents lost interest in our garden in its gradual transition from an Eden of forbidden fruit to an enclosed weed patch.

The years of neglect let the weeds grow tall, until some of them graduated into small trees. The area assumed a sad new role as a corral for outdoor toys the children had outgrown. Each winter brought accelerating decay to our once cute little fence. The ruins of our erstwhile grand vision became a mere hindrance to mow around.

This summer, we made the decision to put our garden to rest. The rotten wood was easy to pull down. The entangled chicken wire offered more resistance. As I dug up the roots of the most highly educated weeds, I realized that this fence had stood for 20 years.

Twenty years is a long time for a homemade, lath wood fence to endure. The fence stood through births, diapers, preschools, field trips, ball games, band concerts, book reports, detentions, award ceremonies, final exams, laughter, and tears.

The fence watched its builders grow rounder, and slower, and more fragile.

It almost seemed a shame to say goodbye to our fence. But time demanded it.

Time neither stops nor reverses for any fence. Every fence must come to terms with that.

Shadows fall on an empty plot.

Cue the vultures

My birthday is in August – the far end of August. Notwithstanding the entire month in between, the automated corporate birthday emails arrive on August 1st. Most of them are from restaurants wanting to remind me how well they treat me: “Present this birthday coupon for a free thimble cupcake with your next meal!”

It’s nice of the various corporate entities to think of me within a month of my birthday. It makes me feel loved, in a cozy, direct marketing kind of way.

This August 1st, I was reminded that this birthday – the one coming several weeks from now – is a big one. It’s the one where I get to forget about all the worldly troubles plaguing young people and start to enjoy life. At least that’s the understanding I have from this piece of mail that landed at my house on August 1st.

What a thoughtful birthday card.

This is not the first time I have been recruited by AARP. They’ve been after me for decades as a random fish who might get caught up in the big nets they cast blindly. This time it’s different. This hook was chosen especially for me.

In the past, the recruitment materials had an anonymous vibe to them: “Hey, Dude. Are you old by any chance? If so, come hang out with us. We’re the cool old people.”

This new mailing feels like a spotlight in my face: “Scott. Yes you, Scott. We know when your birthday is (more or less) and we know how old you are. Don’t fight it. Give in. Become one of us. There’s no escape. We already made up a card with your name on it. It’s only temporary, so be sure to mail us $16 by 9/11/17.”

“We’ve been watching and we know all about you.”

You must agree there is a hint of totalitarian voice in the command to enjoy my birthday. Maybe I haven’t sorted out my emotions regarding this milestone yet. And it is a little presumptuous to assume I want a membership kit. On the other hand, the free tote does look nice; I could use it when I hike off with the other novice seniors to the indoctrination camp. I’ll just pack a few necessities. I wouldn’t want an overweight bag to make me fall and break my hip before I’ve been given all the tips and tools to help me begin enjoying life.

“Free tote. You can carry all your medications. You know you want it. Yes, you do.”

Maybe I’ll carry the temporary card around with me for a while, just in case the secret handshake doesn’t buy me into the bingo game. I’ll carry it for a month. By then, maybe they’ll be concerned about the September crop of fresh old people and forget about me. I’ll lay low and let the card quietly expire.

Unless the card gets me some good discounts by then. In that case, I’ll have to seriously reconsider parting with my $16, because if there’s one thing we senior citizens dearly love, it’s a good discount.