Our two elementary school boys are going through a Superhero phase. Big Man often asks me, usually when I am working, what superpower I wish I had. He wonders about the ability to fly or to turn invisible, but tops on my superpower wish list is the ability to make children turn silent when I am working. I will never attain this power fully, but there are times when I have come close, through my secret weapon of the computer tablet, loaded with video games.
Even the good guys need to use their powers for a touch of evil when they need to catch a break.
Big Man, being a normal Superhero of six, sometimes falls asleep watching TV. These occasions make me wish I had the superpower to be 20 years younger, when I could carry a heavy sack of potatoes up the stairs without wheezing.
One morning, after he had been carried, unconscious, from the couch to his bed, Big Man announced that he had teleported from living room to bedroom during the night. This was concrete evidence he was a genuine Superhero. Teleportation is a bona fide superpower, and people possessing superpowers must be Superheroes. This is especially true of children. It’s all in the Superhero employee handbook.
This is his superpower now: he can teleport, with certain caveats. The first caveat is that he can only do it when asleep. Caveat 2 is that he has no control over the destination of his teleportations, except that they most often end in his bed.
Caveat 3, which he has not yet encountered, is the weight limit on teleported matter, and the age limit on the fathers of those who may use this superpower. When he gains a few more pounds, or his father gains a few more years, whichever comes first, his teleporting days are over. Until then, he is free to teleport in ignorant bliss whenever he falls asleep in an inconvenient spot. In the coming years, he will have to wake up and climb the stairs himself, unless he chooses to meet the new day in the same awkward position he left the old one.
Perhaps his true superpower is being a sound sleeper. Even when I have to tussle his body into a totable position, he is not roused from his teleportation. The more I think about it, the more I think being a sound sleeper would be an excellent superpower. With all the miniature Superheroes fighting crime, peace, and quiet in my home, I think I’ll choose this as the new superpower I wish I had.
Snoozing on the Sofa 
This is just the sweetest! Being a sound sleeper sounds like fabulous superpower, especially for those of us women of a certain age🧐
I didn’t know women in their late 20s had so much trouble sleeping.
That’s hilarious. I wish I had the sound sleeper superpower. I sleep next to someone whose snores come from the pit of hell.
You sleep next to my wife?
Bahaha! That’s so funny. No but my Hubby is deafening.
Maybe you two should start a support group.
At best it might bore me to sleep…
Well, that’s one strategy for a good night’s sleep.
Whatever works right?!
I guess I’m a superhero, for I can sleep through anything.
How will we know if your husband snores?
He doesn’t. I do.
Probably explains why you’re the sound sleeper.
I find you funnier than you probably are. 🙂
You’re to me. I confess: it’s all just an act.
To be able to sleep that soundly ….. I’m with you on that, Scott! Superbly written and just so enjoyable! Thank you! Here is to superheroes!! SMILE!
Thank you, Amy. I wish you a good night’s sleep and a happy new morning every day.
“Big Man announced that he had teleported from living room to bedroom during the night.” Your kids have such amazing imaginations! I hope you achieve whichever superpower you want most.
Thank you. And happy superpowers to you too.
What a super cute super hero!
Thank you. Super cuteness is his true superpower when it comes to Mom and Dad.