Wife: You know our William and Kate?
Me: Our William and Kate?
Wife: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
Me: Oooooh. Our William and Kate! Yes, of course.
Wife: Do you think they make a special, stronger deodorant for them?
Wife: They do a lot of formal events. You know how when you go on a job interview, you get nervous and start to sweat a lot?
Me: If you had three job interviews a day, every day, I guess you wouldn’t sweat as much at them.
Wife: They must sweat a lot, with all those showers they make them take.
Me: I’m really not sure how many showers they are required to take.
Wife: Well, they have to change into a new outfit for every event.
Me: I didn’t know they had to take a shower every time they changed clothes.
Wife: And then, they’re always meeting with important people, and that’s got to make them nervous. Especially Kate, because she’s a commoner and not used to that sort of thing.
Me: At some point, she met the future king. If she’d had big, smelly sweat balls under her arms, he probably wouldn’t have started dating her.
Wife: But what about when they’re late and they have to run to catch their plane?
Me: I think the king’s plane will wait for the king.
Wife: Yes, but they still have to make it to their events on time. What if they’re late and they have to run to the plane to make their event on time?
Me: How often do you find yourself running late for an appointment?
Wife: All the time.
Me: And how many times do you find yourself running half a mile to make up the time? I’m sure they get dropped off closer to their destination than that.
Wife: I bet they do have some kind of special deodorant.
Most of the Brits I have met, regular people not royals, (I don’t travel in those circles) think Americans are clean freeks. I knew a lady who thought two baths a month was enough. I avoided her in the summer. BTW she lived in Ann Arbor.
I have also been told, the average British bathroom has the water pressure of a drinking fountain. I guess if you have to expend so much time and energy why bother more than once a week. If William and Kate ever have me over for the weekend, I will report back on the water pressure and I will also check out their medicine cabinet.
Can’t wait for that report. Please include photos, but by all means, be discrete. We wouldn’t want an international loo incident.