I’ve never made a New Year’s resolution. This year, I am going to break tradition and make some resolutions I think would make me a happier person. They may be difficult and take a lot of hard work to accomplish, but that makes them worthwhile, right? I am committed to these resolutions, foremost because they are not for me. They’re for my family.
Let’s all pitch in and make the world a better place for Daddy. Here is one thing that each of you could focus on to make Daddy happier, bust most of all, to make yourselves more fulfilled people.
The Five-year-old
Eliminate “But I really want to!” as your standard response every time Daddy tells you you’re not allowed to do something. Daddy knows you really want to, at least he functions under the assumption that you don’t ask for things you don’t want just for the thrill of seeking permission. Daddy has reasons for not allowing you to do everything you want to do, and none of those reasons is that he didn’t know how much you wanted to do them. Over time, you’ll begin to understand these reasons, if you really want to.
Corollary: That little whiny sound you make in your nose, after Daddy says no the second time, has to go as well.
The One-year-old
Can you refrain from saving up all your sweet, I Love You So Much, Daddy moments for the last minute before Daddy has to leave for work? Yes, Daddy loves those times when you want to cling to him and rest your head on his shoulder, but he’s going to be late for work. Maybe if you would take a short break from hitting people and throwing stuff in the evenings, you could give Daddy a nice, drawn-out hug when he has time to enjoy it, rather than breaking his heart and endangering the family finances every morning.
Corollary: A break from the hitting people and throwing stuff would probably be good, no matter how you otherwise use that time.
Always with the throwing.
When you’re not hitting or throwing, you’re too cool to show Daddy a little tenderness when he’s free to enjoy it.
The Minus-four-month-old
This is a big year for you. You’ll get to come out and play with your brothers. We’re all looking forward to that. Along those lines, maybe you could resolve to go a little easier on your mother than your brothers did when they were trying to get out. See, when Mommy has it rough, Daddy pays a price for it too. That’s what we’re trying to avoid here.
The Mommy
I know you want your children to grow up rich in experiences, but in 2014 could we please resolve to miss just one family-friendly, free event. You unearth a lot of free events, a damned lot of them. Would it be so bad to just stay home a let one of them slip by without hunting it down like a dog? I agree, free is good, but you know what else if free? Rest.
Like it! It’s free!
That seems like a healthy set of resolutions. I feel better already.
Snoozing on the Sofa 
Love it! That little rascal of yours is a handsome fella. Hey, did you figure out that you’re having a girl yet? Did I miss that post or has that not been revealed?
Also, tell your wife that if she vacations in St. Louis, I know of three free places right off the bat, including our great zoo. Lots of walking involved. You’re welcome!
The reveal was this post:
I’ll let her know about St. Louis and that there is a willing tour guide waiting to walk her around the whole place.
It can be overwhelming and rewarding at the same time
I assume you’re talking about every single part of parenthood.
Yes every part including the adult children!
Can’t even think about that yet.
Oh man, I hate the whiny sound kids make in their nose. LOL
Isn’t it the most annoying sound ever?
Right up there with snoring 🙂
At least snoring is inadvertent.
I would say these are all quite reasonable. Also, the caption under the last picture made me aspirate water up my nose. Well done.
Score one for me! I love readers with water up their noses!
I have a lot of free family activities around Kansas City as well!! You’re welcome!! 🙂 Great post.
I’ll send them your way as soon as their through with Don.
Happy New Year!
And the very same to you!
Spot one, my friend! You made me laugh out loud!
Thanks. I love when that happens.
I always thought the whiny nose thing was JUST my daughter when she was little. I’m so thankful I wasn’t alone. Where the hell were these blogs in the mid 90’s when I was broke and had no idea what a computer even looked like! Er………….you know what I mean. Thank goodness she grew out of that. She’s 22 now and I think I’d have to punch her in the boob if she did that to get her way 🙂
No, you were never alone. Millions of kids were driving their parents crazy in the exact same way. If only you’d known! But it seems like you got through it all right and are on top of your game with that right cross to the boob now.
Can I ask what your five year old’s response was when he was asked not to say ‘But I really want to’ each time? Was is: ‘But I really want to?’
Good luck holding on to ‘your’ resolutions!
You’d make a top notch five-year-old. You are perfectly in tune with the reasoning.
I’m afraid my resolutions are already crumbling.
I love your resolutions. I think mine can be summarised in one. When Daddy watches TV, leave Daddy alone… (irrespective of what he is watching! sport, movie, music videos, documentary, advert…)
Good idea! I’d love to have a rule like that for when Daddy is reading, but I’d never get away with it. Even if they left me alone, they’d have to turn up the TV too loud, because, you know, it’s hard to hear cartoons over all of Daddy’s noisy reading.
Maybe you should stop reading comics then…
Never.
Ok, but settle for Marvel. DC is crap.
I like the idea of making resolutions for other people so there’s no guilt when they break them . . . only disappointment that can be shared and shaped into another blog post 🙂
The disappointment is already shaping up nicely.
We need an update on those resolutions. 🙂
Update: They are already falling apart.